Totally Unsubstantiated Predictions For Super Bowl XLIV

Let me preface this by stating that I have no rooting interest in either team.  Although my Vikings gave the New Orleans Saints the game – don’t deny it, Who Dats, if they would’ve had their bleep together, they would be in Miami, not y’all – I’m not going to cheer them on “out of respect.”  Why the hell would I give my respect to the team that beat my team?  People say that all the time and I imagine them willingly licking the boots of the other team’s fans like they’re a bunch of submissives.  Then again, I can’t root for the Colts either because Indianapolis stole their team from Baltimore.  I remember seeing those Mayflower semis leaving Memorial Stadium in the middle of the night; even though I was eight years old when it happened in 1984 and didn’t understand the concept of franchise relocation then, I sensed that something wasn’t right, a sense that manifested itself and knocked me on my ass when the North Stars were stolen from me.  So screw the Bastard Baltimore Colts too.

As for my outlandishly detailed predictions within the game, who will be immortalized as champions by winning it?  I’m undaunted by the fact that I whiffed on virtually every single prediction I made in both conference games and believe the following shall happen:

1. The Saints are going to score a touchdown through special teams.  If pressed to pick, I’ll say Reggie Bush will do it.  And it won’t surprise me if, like Devin Hester did against the Colts in Super Bowl XLI, he does it on the opening kickoff.
2. Reggie Wayne’s bum knee is not getting as much play as Dwight Freeney’s ankle … and for good reason.  Although Wayne has been Peyton Manning’s go-to guy all year, he obviously has many other weapons he can go to.  Wayne’s injury is worse than people let on, so he’ll only generate 50 receiving yards.
3. And that means that all the other Colts will have better days.  Pierre Garçon, Austin Collie and Dallas Clark will also put up at least 50 yards receiving, but one of those three will go off for 125 yards, and one of those three will have two TD’s.
4. In a big game like this, the hyped-up Saints defense can’t be completely shut out of getting to Manning.  I don’t think they’ll have a good pass rush against the Colts offensive line, but they will sack Manning once – and only once.
5. The bad news for New Orleans is that the Colts offense is not as error-prone as the Vikings were, and they have to face the fact that they barely got out of that game with a win.  Despite throwing one interception, Manning will go off for at least 350 yards and 5 touchdowns.
6. While Indianapolis’ running game gets short shrift under the impressive shadow of Manning, they ran for 101 yards against the New York Jets, the best defense in the league.  They will be able to keep the Saints off-balance by duplicating those 100 yards against New Orleans.  And they will score at least one touchdown on the ground from close.
7. The good news for New Orleans is that the Colts defense is in no way as good as the Vikings defense is.  This will be a shootout, as Drew Brees will throw to the tune of 325 yards and 4 TD’s.  However, he too will throw an interception.
8. The X-Factor in this game?  How about Raheem Brock?  Freeney will be a shell of the monster he usually is even if he does play, so it’ll be up to his sub, Brock, and eight-year veteran out of Temple, to put some pressure on Brees through the man he’ll line up across, probably Jemon Bushrod, and contain the running game at the line of scrimmage.  He will … do OK.  Brock and the rest of the Indianapolis defensive line will not be pushed around, and they will help a Colts linebacker sack Brees once, and only once, in the Super Bowl.  But neither will they make Brees’ life a living nightmare on Sunday, hence he will go off.
9. They say the best thing about New Orleans is its balance.  They are right, and the Saints running game will have a much better outing than in the NFC Championship Game against a good but not great Indy run D.  Bush and Pierre Thomas will churn out a combined 125 yards on the ground, and one of them will score a touchdown on a swing pass from the backfield.  While both offenses will be powered through the air, they’re going to be able to run and score in bunches.
10. Jeremy Shockey, healed from his right knee injury, will find the seams and help keep New Orleans in this game by catching one touchdown.  And with Indianapolis keeping the deep sidelines covered, David Thomas will also have space to work in the middle, and he will also score a touchdown.
11. One other thing to consider: the referee leading the officiating crew is Scott Green, a man no stranger to blown calls that ended crazy games:

• He was the lead ref in this year’s Cardinals-Packers Wild Card game when it appeared Arizona cornerback Michael Adams pulled the facemask of Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers on that fluke fumble returned all the way for a touchdown in overtime to end the game; that facemask penalty was not called.
• When he was a back judge in the San Francisco 49ers-New York Giants Wild Card game after the 2002 season, he forgot that Giants guard Rich Seubert declared himself an eligible receiver in a field goal attempt.  When the Giants screwed up the FG, Seubert went deep for a pass and seemed to be interfered with by Niners defensive end Chike Okeafor.  Instead of calling pass interference, Green threw a flag for being New York having an illegal man downfield (the next day the NFL said the penalty was not called on Seubert but on another Giant, though they weren’t specific as to whom).  That was the final play of the game, and San Francisco completed a 25-point comeback to win.
• And Green was the head ref in the Pittsburgh Steelers’ wild 11-10 win over the San Diego Chargers last year when Troy Polamalu broke up a series of laterals the Chargers were making to try and score on the last play of the game.  Although Polamalu was initially ruled to have scored a TD on a fumble recovery, upon review Green said one of those laterals was a forward pass and the play was ruled dead.  The Steelers would have won by 8 instead of 1, but the line in Vegas had Pittsburgh winning by 5 ½ points.  To this day, some bettors point to this game as evidence Green is dirty, or at least awful.

In other words, whatever happens, Green and the officiating crew will be scrutinized for at least one call or no-call in the game.

12. While Brees will be great, Manning will be unstoppable.  The Colts will make enough stops on defense to win Super Bowl XLIV.  Manning will be named MVP and crowned The Best Quarterback of the Modern Age of the NFL, And Maybe Ever.

Prediction: Indianapolis 49, New Orleans 41